Are You Abused?
Is your partner violent, threatening, critical or controlling? Call now: (828) 254-0516
Helpmate provides free emergency shelter, counseling, and support for you and your children. We will help you explore your options.
Helpmate provides services to victims of domestic violence in Buncombe County. Helpmate is a proud onsite partner at the Buncombe County Family Justice Center (FJC), located at 35 Woodfin St in Asheville. Survivors of domestic abuse are welcome to walk-in to access Helpmate’s services Monday through Friday from 8am to 5pm at the FJC. Learn more about the FJC, including information on the other onsite partners and their available services, here.
Free and confidential.
- 24-Hour Hotline: (828) 254-0516
- Emergency shelter
- Individual and group counseling
- Help building a safe, stable future
- Court advocacy
- Training of professionals and community leaders
- Preventive education for at-risk groups including youth groups
All services are provided to people of all genders. Helpmate, Inc. does not discriminate based on race, ethnicity, national origin, religion, level of ability, age, sexual orientation or gender identity.
Domestic Violence is also called Intimate Partner Violence. Helpmate works with our community to eliminate abuse and fear by providing safety, shelter, and support for people who have been victimized by domestic violence.
Signs of Domestic Violence
Are you and your children safe? If you answered “yes” to several of these questions below your relationship may not be safe. If you need help deciding, call us now on our confidential hotline: (828) 254-0516
The Person I’m With
- Is not very supportive of things that I do and discourages me from trying new things.
- Does not like to listen when I have something on my mind.
- Does not talk to me when they’re unhappy with something in the relationship.
- Is not willing to compromise.
- Does not understand that we have separate interests and can spend time apart.
- Is mean or rude to my friends.
- Criticizes or distracts me when I’m doing things that don’t involve them.
- Gets extremely jealous or possessive.
- Accuses me of flirting or cheating when I’m not.
- Constantly checks up on me or makes me check in.
- Breaks or throws things when we fight.
- Threatens to destroy my things.
- Tries to control what I do, who I see, what I wear, how I look or who I talk to.
- Makes me feel nervous or like I’m “walking on eggshells.”
- Blames me for problems, puts me down, calls me names or criticizes me.
- Makes me feel like no one else would want me.
- Threatens to hurt themselves, me, my friends, pets or family.
- Grabs, pushes, shoves, chokes, punches, slaps, holds me down, throws things or hurts me in some way.
- Yells, screams or humiliates me in front of other people.
- Pressures, guilts or forces me into having sex or going farther than I want to.
We believe that we are all to be valued, and have the right to speak our truths, be heard, be honored, and achieve our full potential. We all have the right to live in safety, without violence or fear.
We embrace the diversity among ourselves and in our community, and believe that valuing people means respecting and understanding their experiences and beliefs. We are committed to maintaining a diverse organization that reflects our community.
As an independent, 501(c) 3 non-profit organization, Helpmate is honored to have the support of our community as we work to make this a safer, happier, and healthier place for all to live. In addition to funding from federal, state and local governmental agencies, grants from a variety of sources, and the United Way of Asheville and Buncombe County, we are grateful to so many who find Helpmate worthy of their generosity. There are many ways you can help:
- Make a gift as an Individual to PO Box 2263, Asheville, NC 28802.
- Want to make a bigger difference? Make your donation an automatic monthly gift. Call our Development Coordinator, Pam King at 828-254-2968
- Become a Business Partner. Click here to see the Partnership Opportunities and Benefits available at each level.
- Encourage your Faith Community to support this work. We are happy to provide information for your congregation to educate about Helpmate, domestic violence and how to get help.
- We welcome the opportunity to speak to your Civic Club or Organization to educate about our work. Your support is greatly appreciated.
- Consider Helpmate as you are making decisions with your Family Foundation or other funding vehicles.
- Please remember Helpmate in your will and let us know when you do.
What Difference Does Your Gift Make?
A gift to Helpmate means we have the trained personnel available to answer the Hotline over 3,000 times each year. It means a secure shelter will be there 24/7 for those in imminent danger. It means teenagers will learn about safe dating and healthy relationships to prevent domestic violence in the first place. Please make a gift today.
Want to learn more about our programs, budget and plans? Read our 2017-2018 Annual Report!
You may donate to Helpmate by clicking the button below, or by mailing a check to PO Box 2263, Asheville, NC 28802.
Here are ways you can be most supportive of the survivors in our shelter:
- Small denomination gift cards are extremely helpful. $10-$25 cards to places like Target or Ingles make it possible for our shelter residents to shop for their immediate needs.
- Thinking of organizing a donation drive at your place of employment, church, or club? Preview our list of needed items here.
- Due to limited storage space (we use most of our shelter space for sleeping quarters), we are unable to accept donations of clothing.
- In-kind donations are accepted by appointment only. We cannot have surprise guests at the shelter for security reasons. Appointments are available M-F 9am – 4 pm.
- Like us on facebook here to see specific and urgent needs that arise.
For more information about any of these giving options, contact Pam King, Development Coordinator, at email@example.com or 828-254-2968 ext. 140.
Over 30% of Americans are acquainted with a woman who has suffered violence from her male partner.
Source: National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey. 2010 Summary Report. CDC
We recognize that violence is created in and sustained by our society, and that the elimination of violence begins with societal and global change. We believe that it is the obligation of our local and global community to eradicate violence by challenging a culture that values power and control.
Having a gun in the home increases the risk of homicide 20 times when there is a history of domestic violence.
About 1 in 4 women (24.3%) have experienced severe physical violence by their partner (for example, been hit with a fist or other object, been shaken, or shoved into something) at some point in their lives.
There are many ways you can volunteer for Helpmate:
- Building and Grounds Maintenance
- Case Management Advocates
- Children's Services
- Community and Prevention Educators
- Donation Pick-up and Delivery Support
- Family Justice Center Receptionists
- Hotline Advocates
- Reception/Shelter Resource Volunteers
- Special Events Volunteers
- Survivor Voices Speaker's Bureau
- Voices in Action (Survivor Engagement/Activism Program)
If you are interested in volunteering or participating in a formal internship to meet college program requirements, please contact Christy Price, Helpmate's Director of Outreach & Volunteer Programming at (828)254-2968 ext. 112 or firstname.lastname@example.org.
Download the Volunteer Application Packet here: Volunteer Application Packet (Please note: downloading this packet from our site may not be safe if you are in a dangerous situation. If you have any doubts about your safety, please instead call us at (828) 254-0516.)
Helpmate Offers Free Prevention Education and Professional Training!
Helpmate offers a variety of educational and training opportunities at no cost to first responding professionals (e.g.social workers, healthcare providers, law enforcement and school personnel), local businesses, civic groups, faith communities, etc. We also offer prevention education to youth ages 12-21 at local middle and high schools, youth groups, summer camps, etc. We offer education for substance abuse recovery program participants, pregnancy support groups, and any other group that might be considered higher-risk of experiencing intimate partner violence.
Education and Training Contact
For more information about our educational and training programs or to schedule a Helpmate presenter, please contact Christy Price, Helpmate's Director of Outreach & Volunteer Programming at (828) 254-2968, ext. 112 or email@example.com.
Youth Prevention Education
Prevention Educators offer these workshops about healthy relationships and dating abuse prevention to youth ages 12-18 in public and private schools, youth groups, and summer camps.
- Dating Violence 101: A one-session curriculum teaching teens to identify abusive behaviors and cultivate healthy relationships.
- Safe Dates: An evidence-based multi-session curriculum teaching teens to:
- identify red flags
- gain skills to help friends in abusive relationships
- cultivate healthy relationships through anger management, conflict resolution, and positive communication.
- Training of Trainers: These workshops are focused on teaching educators and other youth workers about how to talk about dating abuse with teens.
- Talking with Your Teens: A workshop focused on teaching parents how to identify signs of abusive relationships and support their teens in cultivating healthy relationships.
- Teen Tech Safety: Providing youth with tools to prevent technological abuse.
Professionals and Community Member Education
Helpmate offers workshops that cover one or more of the following topics. Workshops vary in length and number of sessions. We are happy to tailor education workshops to fit the needs of your group.
- Domestic Violence (DV) 101: This training focuses on defining and understanding the complexities of domestic violence and how to respond appropriately.
- DV and Substance Abuse: This training is about recognizing and addressing the link between domestic violence and substance abuse as a coping mechanism.
- DV and the Impact on Families: An 8-hour quarterly training for allied professionals who may interact with survivors of domestic violence. This training covers in-depth information about the dynamics of intimate partner violence, including its impact on children.
- DV in the Workplace: This workshop explores how businesses can create awareness and policies that appropriately address DV in the workplace.
- Lethality Assessment: This training teaches what the lethality indicators are for a victim of Domestic Violence and how to appropriately respond after recognizing the risk factors.
- DV and Animal Abuse: This is a class for veterinarians, vet techs, and animal control officers, drawing the connection between domestic violence and pet abuse. This class covers learning how to identify and support victims of domestic violence.
- Training for Allied Professionals: This training provides the skills needed to identify, respond to, and make referrals for survivors of domestic violence.
- Faith Communities: Various trainings specifically geared towards faith leaders, congregation members, and youth. These trainings focus on teaching skills to identify and prevent abuse and creating a community of support in a congregation. Presentations during weekly services are also available.
- DV Ed - This is an 8-week series offered for survivors of Domestic Violence.
Helpmate provided training to Aabani Salon professionals. Click on the image to check out the WLOS news story about this partnership!
Helpmate is partnering with local salons and barber shops to offer free training on intimate partner violence. For more information, please contact Christy Price, our Director of Outreach and Volunteer Programming at (828) 254-2968, ext. 112 or firstname.lastname@example.org.
- Nearly half of all women and men in the United States have experienced psychological aggression by an intimate partner in their lifetime. (1) 48% 48%
- Intimate partner violence accounts for 15% of all violent crime (3) 15% 15%
- More than 60% of domestic violence incidents happen at home 60% 60%
- 1 in 7 men have experienced severe physical violence by an intimate partner in their lifetime (3) 14% 14%
- Recent global prevalence figures indicate that about 1 in 3 (35%) of women worldwide have experienced either physical and/or sexual intimate partner violence or non-partner sexual violence in their lifetime. (6) 35% 35%
- Only 34% of people who are injured by intimate partners receive medical care for their injuries 34% 34%
- In the United States, domestic violence crimes account for up to 40 percent of all calls to police. (5) 40% 40%
- Only about 55% of domestic violence incidents are reported to the police. (3) 55% 55%
- 11% of calls to police to report domestic violence are placed by a child in the family. (7) 11% 11%
- 1 in 15 children are exposed to intimate partner violence each year, and 90% of these children are eyewitnesses to this violence. (7) 6% 6%
- The presence of a gun in a domestic violence situation increases the risk of homicide by 500% (2) 500% 500%
- In 2 out of 3 female homicide cases, females are killed by a family member or intimate partner 75% 75%
- 72% of all murder-suicides involve an intimate partner; 94% of the victims of these murder/suicides are women 72% 72%
- Nearly 1 in 10 women in the United States (9.4%) has been raped by an intimate partner in her lifetime. (1) 9.4% 9.4%
1National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey 2010 2Risk factors for femicide in abusive relationships: Results from a multisite case control study. American Journal of Public Health, 93(7), 1089-1097. viiiTruman, J. L. & Morgan, R. E. (2014). 3Ruman, J. L. & Morgan, R. E. (2014). Nonfatal domestic violence, 2003-2012. Retrieved from http://www.bjs.gov/content/pub/pdf/ndv0312.pdf. 4Jackson, N.A. 1996, “Observational experiences of intrapersonal conflict and teenage victimization: A comparative study among spouses and cohabiters” – Journal of Family Violence, vol. 11, pp. 191-203. 5“Equality Denied. The Status of Women in Policing.” National Center for Women and Policing, 1999. 6 World Health Organization 2016 7 “Children’s Exposure to Intimate Partner Violence and Other Family Violence” U.S. Department of Justice, National Survey of Children’s Exposure to Violence, October 2011.
Erin Bee, MPH
Community Case Manager
Shelter Case Manager
Associate Shelter Coordinator
Dori English, MA, LPC
Community Case Manager/Counselor
Community Case Manager
Director of Outreach and Volunteer Programming
Lauren Ray, MA, LCSW
Carolina Robles, MSW, LCSWA
Bilingual Case Manager
Shelter Case Manager
Court Advocacy Coordinator
Youth Prevention Educator
LGBTQ Services Specialist
Marissa Uhl, MSW
Child and Family Advocate
Shelter Case Manager
FJC Case Management Coordinator
Bonnie Spradling, President
Nonprofit Executive, retired
Paul Bellows, Vice President
Bellows Management Consulting, Inc.
Gary Snipes, Treasurer
Senior Director of Sales, CoorsTek Medical
Ginny Raviotta, Vice-Treasurer
Executive Director, Women and Children’s Services: Mission Hospital
Jennifer Adams, Secretary
Financial Planner, Starks Financial Group
Reporter, Asheville Citizen Times
Associate Director for Athletic Operations, UNC-Asheville
Department of Justice
Certified Financial Planner, Merrill Lynch
Owner, Geaux Girl Concierge
Vice-President, Hour Glass Cleaners, Inc.
Co-founder of DWR Audio
General Manager, Mast General Store
Cindy Ireland, Past President
One Who Serves
Asheville City Schools
We believe that hope, change, and healing are possible, and that people can transcend painful experiences, grow, and thrive.
We believe that to serve our clients, we must model a violence-free community that is founded in respect and equality. By providing safety, shelter, counseling, and advocacy, we empower each client to create a life that is free of violence; by providing education, we empower our community to create a world that is free of violence.